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SPREAD THE NEWS A few weeks ago while reading in the 50-lb. Sunday Los Angeles Times about the awesome, but temporary, work of art called “The Gates” in Manhattan’s Central Park, and wrestling with the obstreperous pages, a possible project flashed into my mind. If some art-loving volunteers would rally to the cause, I should like to see the four-ft. square pages of the Times opened flat and laid end to end in the center strip of world-famous Rodeo Dr.
So I spread out some pages of the Times on our den floor, and was struck by something. No, it wasn’t by my fastidious wife. It was by pages B8 and B9, with a special heading: “Business and Professional Service Directory”
“Ah,” I thought, “this inform me which trades need to advertise and what it is people want”
Here are some of the ads I found. . Accounting, only two small ads.
Advertising, only one small ad. Air Quality , only one small ad. (You would think breathing good air is important.) Antiques: four ads. (Obviously very important.) Air Conditioning, three ads. Attorneys, 37, mostly very large!
The variety of attorneys was fascinating. I quote some of the headings: Wrongful Termination:13; Incorporation Specialists; Accident Injury?; Asset Protection; Living Trusts; Workplace Rights; Business and Real Estate Transactions; Stay Out of Jail!; Disability Claim Denied?; Nevada Corporations; Divorce?; Driving Under the Influence?;Nursing Home Injuries; Employment Law; Immigration Law; Clear Your Criminal Record; Men’s Rights...Paternity/Divorce; Construction Law; DMV Hearings; Bankruptcy; Etc. 37 ads! I remember when attorneys never advertised.
There then followed many single, small ads for such things as Cabinets, eight’ Dentists, Only one by Plumber. Only one plumber advertised! From this I would conclude that plumbers are far more independent and much better off than attorneys, or at least, more in demand. For fun, just call an attorney and a plumber on some stormy night at 3 a.m. The attorney will come. Have you hugged your attormey today?
My friends, nothing compares with the pages and pages of advertisements one can find in the Sunday Times. They cover more space than the Manhattan “Gates,” and are far more educational. Moreover, they are excellent for putting a shine on mirrors, for crumpling up and packing glassware and brick-a-brack for shipping, and for starting a fire in your fireplace.
Above all they are the front line of the defenses of our liberty. It is called: FREEDOM OF THE PRESS.
And for the latest really important information, read my column in The Courier!
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